somebody has to think of the children

So here we are. One question, one sheet of paper...which hopefully doesn't have bolognese sauce on it yet.

Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry? If your answer is yes, thank you - get thee to a post box.

If you need help answering the question, it's likely you believe that gay people are less than you. Or worse yet, a danger to society. Don't deny it - every supposedly secular argument against marriage equality has been a thinly veiled attack on gay lifestyle and culture, propped up by worryingly unsupported claims of children being better off with mum and dad. 

But I don't want to continue the mud-slinging here - my suede shoes have been through enough! Rather, I'd like you to know a bit more about the person in front of you.

I came out as gay to my family when I was 16. It wasn't an act of bravery; the confession, as I saw it, literally poured out of me as a stream of consciousness. I barely understood the words I uttered, and I wasn't about to stand by them - I believed it was abnormal, I felt I was too young to act on it and I knew nobody, most of all me, wanted it to be true.

So I pretended it wasn't true, and I continued praying every night for God to take this feeling away and make me normal. Two years later, God still hadn't picked up the phone.

But in that two years, as I worked through typical teenage feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and ugliness, I did land upon one truth I couldn't shake: I was a good person. And I knew that mattered more to God than this apparent evil he'd implanted within me.

As I allowed myself to be myself, my feelings of worthlessness dissipated. As relatives learned of my 'tendencies' and believed I was being gay because it was trendy, I didn't get angry or even upset. Instead, I was amused that they could think I wilfully devoted my teenage years to angst and anguish. 

Fast forward a couple of decades and the devil's work hasn't manifested in me yet, nor in my gay friends and family. We've earned the love and respect of others as good human beings, and I thought we had the same rights as them. But we haven't earned the right to marry, which our straight contemporaries were seemingly born with. 

What I've earned, evidently, is a free trip back to my teenage bed; an invitation to remind myself of how abnormal and hateful I once was. Thankfully my feet are firmly planted in the present. How do we help those just waking up to their truth? 

Shall we inform them they can be anything they want to be except equal? Should we teach them how to cover-up what's natural, and lie to those around them? Why don't we just send them abroad?

Yes, somebody has to think of the children.

If you value the health and vitality of your children, vote yes. If you love and respect your friends and colleagues, vote yes. If you're sick of seeing gay people all over the media, vote YES - once same-sex marriage is legal here we'll shut up about it and you won't even have to attend our weddings.

You have one box to tick, and the power to save a life. 

this game has gone on long enough

Friends, tennis fans, Christians - lend me your ears.

I, like many fellow 30-somethings, would soon like to marry my true love.

There are two problems with this. Number one: I don't have a true love. But if any Indian aunts are reading and keen to fix me up, please note I'm fair, educated and obedient.

Number two: the Australian government hasn't legalised same-sex marriage. This is hardly news to you: indeed, marriage equality has been a topic of incredulous conversation in our country for longer than any of us cares to remember.

Most politically-charged issues warranting ongoing debate have both positive and negative consequences, regardless of outcome - that's why they aren't (usually) settled over two beers. This one baffles me: I'm staunchly apolitical and my Libran, middle-child circumstances dictate I see two sides to everything, but I simply cannot perceive the downside of making same-sex marriage legal.

Unless, of course, the Christian-right makes good on its promise to create economic turmoil if marriage equality is granted (I haven't actually heard this but can only assume this is what's staying Malcolm's hand).

Christians like tennis legend Margaret Court, who served this ace last week in her tussle with Qantas: "I believe in marriage as a union between a man and a woman as stated in the Bible." 

Unsurprisingly, and as they've done before, her comments sparked much discussion and rebuttal from the media, but Pastor Court, displaying the formidable strength that won her so many grand slams, blocked every return with a game-winning "It's in the Bible."

It doesn't take Hawk-Eye to see that's a long shot. Especially considering her preferred source serves to invalidate her own voice: This from 1 Corinthians: "Women should remain silent in the churches...for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church." I'm hardly the first person to counter Court's argument with this passage, but it so easily demonstrates her hypocrisy that I couldn't resist!

And the Bible contains many such passages that would challenge contemporary logic. It could have something to do with the fact the Bible was written centuries, nay, millennia ago: To observe its teachings to the letter is at best implausible and in some instances illegal.

Thankfully, many Christians use the Bible as a basis for learning and teaching rather than the gospel truth. We've recognised that the message of 'Love one another' is as powerful and universal today as then, while cautions against muzzling an ox while it's eating grain are perhaps only useful to the farmers Court insists are in her corner.

Though her protests are philosophically flawed, she has a right to free speech. Just as Senator Eric Abetz has a right to insist we celebrate gay people who've willingly climbed back into the closet - I assure you, Mr Abetz, I will do so as soon as I meet one. 

But underneath the shouting we're mostly singing from the same hymn sheet, except that some of us are advocating for positive change rather than harking back to the way things were. Gay Australians are already parents, in committed relationships and even allowed to vote! Why does our getting married suddenly make your marriage to a person of the opposite sex any less important or relevant?

In Court's own words: "I really want to see a society where traditional family values are still celebrated and every child has the best possible start in life." My thoughts exactly, Ms Court. So let's finish this marriage equality battle once and for all: it's our advantage and I reckon you missed the point.